Introspection

Whenever I visit the VA Hospital in Detroit with my wife or daughter, both Navy veterans,  I walk away with feelings of admiration and profound guilt.  You see, I went to college instead of Viet Nam.  That was the war of my era.  I didn't agree with it, but thats not the point.  This place of healing is one that attempts to fix the physical and mental scars of conflict.  Most of the service members there are old and bent over with walkers, oxygen devices and prosthetic limbs.  I was walking behind a young man with a prosthetic leg and a support dog.  He was a big guy with handsome facial features.  This was a guy that volunteered to put himself in harms way.  He was not drafted.  It takes real bravery to put your life on the line for your country.  

Judy often talks about the life in the military and how your service mates become your family.  You can't call mom or dad to complain.  When mistakes are made, there are consequences.  There is no backup plan.  Son Jon and daughter Katey were off on ships for long durations floating in some ocean, doing the jobs they were assigned.  I have to believe it was at times hard and lonely.  People in this life make new and maybe better friendships that last far past their time in the military.  I am on the outside of this.  Aside from the death of a small sister, I really endured no hardships, carrying on with life.  I had a loving family and a few good friends, some of which I still retain.  

thats it

 

Away for awhile

 Went to visit my wife's family in Toms River last week.  It was quite pleasant and I ate way too much, gaining 2 pounds as a consequence.  We did not do much besides visiting due to Laura's back injury and her in the recovery mode.  She is still hurting and hoping for some relief on June 9th with a procedure on one of her discs.  We had a visit from her cousins that were part of the Cape May travel group all meeting annually at Peter Shields Inn. a lovely bed and breakfast in this town.  Sadly, both of them are doing poorly do to various medical issues,  to me, kind of bearly getting by.  Brother Brian's wife Debbie is amidst issues as well and in a recovery mode.  Saw my old buddy Carmine and we talked music which we had not done before.  It turns out that he and I have similar tastes and had seen the same groups perform.  Sent him a message with new things I have discovered on YouTube with some of my musical heroes. 

This is a photo of oak leaves I took closeup on one of my walks in the neighborhood.  In Ocean county the city of Lakewood has a large Orthodox Jewish community.  They have outgrown this environment and are now settling in Pine Lake Park buying up many properties.  Their garb is different and the folks keep to themselves but are polite and somewhat friendly to outsiders.  Some of the old time residents are not happy with their arrival.  We will see how this shakes out.  In fact there is now a Yeshiva school around the block from the house of Mike and Laura.  Lots of cars are parked near.

Once and awhile you have an interesting seat mate on the plane.  Mr. Michael Fineman was next to me. A big guy with stubbily beard and ball cap who, without much prompting, was quite engaging.  We had the usual "what do you do?" openers.  I told him about my career and retirement.  Michael said he was a motivational speaker and marketed some health supplements.  It seems that his subject of motivation is fatherhood.  He started something called "The Fatherhood Code".  As we all. know, there is no manual for teaching fatherhood.  We learn from the examples of our. father's actions and advice.  Without going further into the story,  suffice to say this was an interesting guy with an interesting perspective.  This guy was raised Jewish and converted to Christianity which is really a big deal with potentially big consequences in that faith.  His parents accepted his choice and he moved ahead.  I could have spoke to him at even greater length if there were more time available.

I really don't travel great distances by plane any more.  It was amazing to me that most of the travelers spoke languages I did not understand.  Whether it be Spanish or Arabic, I felt like I was in the middle of something I did not comprehend. I guess thats okay.  America is transforming into something different than I remember.  Parts of me want to cling to the past, comfortably living life in the rear view mirror.  

thats it

Maiden Voyage

 I scroll thru YouTube  commentary by politicians that absolutely decry the action of the republican majority for decimating Medicare and Medicaid.  I wrote to all the elected officials that represent me describing the effect that the upcoming cuts will have on my disabled adult child.  I did receive a reply from one office with a boiler plate answer to my concern.  No one else felt the need to acknowledge.  There are a lot of speeches being made,  many of which are quite eloquent.  But in essence, they accomplish nothing.  The utter immorality  of the majority party surprises even me.  The path laid out is quite clear.  As you can see, my face is getting older and droopier. 

On a lighter note, wa had my sister Joan and husband John over for dinner last night. They toted along some wine and spectacular strawberries from Ohio.  Couldn't wait to try them on my granola today.  This was my maiden voyage cooking on a charcoal grill (Andrew's) after being away from it for many years, probably from my childhood when my father would slap steaks and hamburgers on the grill  while I watched intently standing on the driveway in Warren. Dad hated when things were overcooked.   He used this electric wand thingy that heated up the coals and started them going. He did not like the odor from the charcoal lighter fluid.  Residing in an apartment for three years prior prevented me from any outdoor cooking.  However, the chicken thighs were tasty and everyone enjoyed the meal that included a farro salad and heirloom tomatoes. Got a Meijers  cheesecake and added cherry pie filling for a topping.    

As I was lying in bed recalling my success in this grilling effort today, I smelled by hands and was launched back to my youth standing by my dad and his beloved grill.  They smelled smokey and familiar. 

We have an appliance service coming this morning to examine our refrigerator that is making some funny noises.  And, we are waiting. It's 930 and they are supposed to arrive by noon.

thats it

a variety of topics

So I visited Oxford Towers yesterday afternoon.  Conversation was pleasant mostly about who was doing what.  One friend, a practicing Catholic and I had a discussion about the local parishes.  It seems that there is a shortage of priests to man all the masses offered.  Most of the clergy are quickly moving toward their nineties and their activities are diminished.  The lovely church across the street no longer has a regular pastor.   

On my trip to Trader Joes yesterday, I spotted a Rolls Royce in the parking lot and was surprised by the enormity of the vehicle being very tall and wide with huge wheels.  I have never stood next to one of these, only seeing them in photos.  This one was from Cleveland.

Met with old buddies from Oxford Towers for breakfast today.  We discussed numerous topics and the waitstaff was a nice at the could be.  They always fawn over these 80=. year olds and bring them all kinds of extra stuff.  For me an always a pleasant, filling event.  They all left for Walmart and I was off to Costco for laundry detergent.

next day

I am about to complete watching the remaining episodes of A Handmaid's Tale.  I began watching this series when Mike Pence was the Vice President under the first Trump administration.. Pence, in this incarnation, put forth the values of Gilead in my view.  I was introduced to the show by my friend from Staples, Chloe.  So struck by the oppression of these women, I told her that all the 23 year old girls sitting on barstools needed to see this show because it could well become their reality.  Because of the brutality toward women portrayed, Judy wanted no part of this program and I would watch it when she was away from home in my solitude. Because of the breaks in production due to covid or a writers strike, I would scroll thru and rewatch the whole thing again.  I have been struck over and over again by the bravery of these female characters in the face of monstrous oppressors. Yeah I am a guy and should have no interest in a program like this.  But the bravery continues to get me.  I look forward to the summation of the series that has been with me for about 8 years with lots of breaks.  Saw interviews on YouTube with some of the actors and was surprised that many of them were British.

The house is pretty quiet at this point after a stormy night.

thats it.

 

Father Bob

So, when did Father Bob realize the job he now had and all the weight it carried.  Who could he ask for advice? Aside from begging for divine guidance, He has no where else to go.  He has the top job, shepherding the 1.4 billion catholics and their church toward their ultimate salvation.  It is indeed a big endeavor.  I most humbly wish him well.  I still consider myself a catholic even though I no longer practice.  Francis considered himself a servant to God and to all people.  We will see where this guy falls.  Being the first American in the position hailing from Chicago, he has a sandwich and a hot dog named after him.  The Sox have a big fan. We will see.

It is Mother's Day today and I wish only happiness to all the moms out there.  Mine has left this earthly plain and I miss her every day. I miss my mother in law Marie as well.  She made me crazy but I loved her.  Dorothy was my guidepost and one of the few people that ever got me.  Judy is a wonderful mom to her kids and grandkids.  The older ones we live with (grandkids) look to her for guidance and kindness which always comes streaming through.  

Around here the moms have a beautiful sunny day to look forward to.  I should be a good day.

thats it

A few things.

Marie is coming back from her 8th grade trip to Washington with her classmates today.  The arrival will be late today so sometime tomorrow we will hear some details. Back in ancient times, we did not have an 8th grade trip to anywhere.  Harry is staring at me from across the room.  I think he knows a bath is in his near future. He doesn't hate his bath and seems pretty accepting of his fate.  Judy is cleaning out the coffee maker and putting in a new filter.  I am contemplating what I am doing for the rest of the day. Took a couple of shots of the pretty red maple we have in our yard yesterday on yesterday's bright and beautiful sunshine.  

The grand kids are with their mom now for a week.  I really do like having them around despite Eli's loud conversations with his pals on the phone after we retire for the evening.  

The world is watching to chimneys in Rome for the naming of Francis's replacement.  Our media doesn't study the leaders of other faiths with nearly this intensity.  In fact, I could not name an any of them, very curious.  

thats it

a Friendship

I ponder the state of the world we live in at this point.  How do I overcome the bitterness  that envelopes me?  Had a lengthy conversation yesterday with a dear friend.  In our talk I mentioned my positive feelings and subsequent sadness about the passing of Francis.  I told her I was contemplating a re-visit to the Catholic Church based on all these feelings.  She harkened back to the election last year and his comments about choosing the lesser of two evils in making a voting decision.  This of course corresponds to the to the long held view by the church about a women's right to choose.  

She and I are the kind of friends that can discuss the most volatile  topics and still emerge as close pals even when we disagree.  I do in fact see her point.  But I can suffer thru the cognitive dissonance (Leon Festinger )  it puts me in.  I think he had to stand on doctrine in his position.  I can forgive him that.  Despite choices made,  his goodness wins out for me.

With all the removal of services and funding proposed, I have answered some of my frustrations by writing to legislators, Slotkin, Peters, and Booker. Booker represents NJ but I have long admired him and his positive stance.  Personally  I have voiced my concerns regarding the threats to Medicaid.  My wonderful daughter would be severely harmed if this medical funding is disrupted.  Do not know if these tomes accomplish any thing but have to do something.

thats it